Don't underestimate the power of developing healthy self-esteem

Work with me to understand why you do what you do, build on strengths & develop new skills. I am excited to take this journey with you. Where will your destination be? Let's find out, book a free consultation call, now.

As we have established from the home page, self esteem (the 'symptoms') can show up in many ways. It can also show up in difference places in our lives. Here is a small list of below, of some the things that can be experienced, not all, but what I have come across more commonly.

g2be364190d6e2a93a0f32881152e46f39fd971b03668c83e225239656328a90b9491bad616ce68df8af17cfd9b09357f11d4a07b6c5f53f8fcd23a087a400d37_1280-3275289.jpg

Career Coaching

Do you find yourself hesitating to apply for that promotion, compare yourself to others & fear you are not as good as them?

This is low self-esteem at work. You are not wanting to do this to yourself, you are simply trying to keep yourself safe from the fear of the feelings you may experience, if you in your mind you 'fail'.

Applying for promotion or new job or change of career is a risk. It is a risk of failure or rejection, to name just a few.

Negotiating a pay rise or new pay deal on promotion can also be terrifying. Not because you are not brave, you just don't feel safe.

You know, deep down, you are more than capable, I can help you to find out what is getting in your way and then set goals to go get that job, pay rise, start your own business or new career.

Are you sick of your job or find it no longer fits with your values or life &/or find it meaningless? Do you want to change career but find this a huge idea that is too overwhelming to think about or put into practice? Do you find it difficult being a manager and want to enjoy it more? Are you really stressed & finding it hard to manage that stress &/or maybe have no work/life balance? Or maybe you are finding it difficult to return to work after a break. Or maybe you just feel totally burned out & don't know how to carry on. Are you left feeling anxious & exhausted?

how I can help: I can help you look at your situation in a holistic way & help you to work out where you have come from, where you are, what is getting in the way & where you might like to be. We can look at how to maximise your career potential, your strengths & work towards having a sense of achievement, pleasure & fulfilment from your working life. We can work together to get you unstuck in your career.

Imposter Syndrome

Do you find yourself doubting your achievements with a persistent fear of being exposed as a "fraud" even though you have concrete evidence to the contrary? Do you find it hard to feel you deserve praise or success. Maybe you feel you are not as good as others say you are not qualified enough. There is a big list, but you get the picture, these are just some examples of the feelings and thoughts we can have.

These are fears, commonly not true. We can explore where these fears come from and then work towards overcoming them.

Do you feel you do not deserve your achievements & feel its just luck, timing, or tricking others into thinking you are better than you are?

how I can help: I can help you look at the actual evidence of how much you achieve, do & more than that, start to believe and enjoy your success. We can look at the origin of these fears, how you have developed these self-limiting beliefs & find ways to move past them. Imagine feeling fulfilled and quietly self-confident every time you walk into the office (or most situations)? What would that be worth to you?

ge650b150129672560181bf275129b62df9eeb35bfba580ab7b5abe22b570c5f003bc0339eebd612ea64fe7e43608a70c74a0e768101e9668557a5b29a34e0b77_1280-1979261.jpg

Business Coaching

Being in or starting a new business is huge, I know, have been & are there right now.

Low self-esteem can make networking and forming professional relationships more challenging, as you may feel unworthy of connecting with others or fear rejection.

Lacking confidence (a 'symptom' of low self esteem) can lead to avoiding social and professional contact, limiting opportunities for collaboration, mentorship, and career advancement. Seeking support can be scary, due to many different fears. Common examples are, fear of being told you are no good, imposter syndrome (see previous box), fear of leading a company from a fear of not being competent enough and the intricacies of dealing with teams and staff, fear of not being able to communicate to staff or a team. Fear of not being taken seriously enough to command enough respect, the list goes on and on.

It is hard to lead or manage. There is no doubt about that. But with healthy self-esteem, this can be navigated more easily and with less stress and anxiety.

It is SO overwhelming & sometimes you can't see the wood for the trees. Often we can become stuck & adopt, what I call the "scattergun" approach of trying to do a bit of this & a bit of that & feel like you are not getting anywhere.

how I can help: I can help you to define very specific, clear & achievable goals. Help to create actionable & achievable plans based on these goals. We can identify opportunities to improve performance and growth. We can look at how you could find ways to delegate tasks leaving you free to be creative and make more money! I can help you to develop new business ideas & how to move them forward. I can also help to think about how to turn a hobby into a business.

Personal Growth

This is a huge topic! Often described as becoming your "best self"! This is a term I really hate. Immediately it opens us up to a sense of failure in everything we do. How do we measure it? Then if we seek reassurance then this increases our doubts in ourselves. We can also get into comparing ourselves to how others would manage situation and find ourself wanting. In fact, we are not wanting at all, we all have different ways of looking at and managing things. Different is good not wrong.

I can help you to find out out what is really important to you or your values. Same thing. You may have some vague idea about that right now, or you may be very clear. If you are vague, lets make it concrete and make it happen!

If you are sure, then I would say, how can I help you to start putting them into practice?

When we live a life that in line with our value system, we tend to feel much happier and fulfilled.

The journey can be about overcoming limiting self beliefs, blocks & fears about numerous things, such as not being good enough. feeling unlikeable & so on. Ultimately, so many things can get in the way of us feeling fulfilled and having a meaningful life and learning to accept and like ourselves as we really are. To be able to accept ourselves and be our true self is very liberating and empowering. To be able to stop listening to our self critic, problem solve rather than worry and look forward rather than back.

how I can help: I can help you in this journey. I use a very simple diagrammatic formula to help you see why you do what you do and to help break all those unhelpful loops you are in currently. I can help you to build on your strengths and develop more to help you live a life rooted in your values and what is important to you.

Doing what I love

There are a number of difficulties that we experience with this.

Doing things we love is so important for our mental health. Unfortunately the society we live in causes us a number of problems with this.

One is the pressure to always be doing something worthwhile that helps others. Whilst this is great, sometimes we just have to do something for ourselves.

The idea of learning to fail at something is also a pet hate of mine. It gets in the way of us trying. So we go to do something with the intention of failing now? really? No, we go to learn something or to just enjoy it.

In my opinion the word 'fail' should be struck from the English language. There is no such thing, we try things, sometimes they work out and sometimes not. For the latter we LEARN the most and GROW the most. I truly believe this and can help you find your belief in doing the things you love, just because you do deserve it!

PS yes you CAN find the time! I can help with that too. I am sure there are some swaps in your life we can find, however, small they may be!

Finding balance

We have so much to balance in our lives in so many different areas and this can be very difficult.

With so many balls in the air it can be hard to juggle at times.

Sometimes, we can get mixed up with which ball or balls to juggle, for various reasons. Some reasons can be around finding it hard to set boundaries and say no. This can lead to having an overwhelming amount of 'stuff' on our plate.

We can also have less than helpful people around us, who make unreasonable demands and they may be hard to spot!

If we have low self-esteem this can lead to feeling very out of balance. Trying to please everyone, not being to find a way to get our own needs met, leading to frustration, anxiety and low mood.

I can help you find your balance by looking at what is getting in your way of balancing out your life in the way you would like to.

Areas such as finances, time, stress, emotions, relationships, kids, relatives, judgements & criticism from others and the toll that this all takes. The list is SO big, there is not enough space here.

how I can help: I can help you find a sense of equilibrium and well-being whilst juggling all those balls between your responsibilities & goals. We may even find some balls you can safely drop to create more space to love you life a bit more!

Perfectionism

This is not actually about trying to be perfect! "I am not a perfectionist" is what many of my clients have said over the years.

However, when we feel like we are not good enough, just as an example, this can lead to over compensating by trying to do everything to massively high standards. High standards that may not always be necessary.

This can lead to over working, not having any time to do things we like which then can create difficulties at work and home.

Difficulties at work can come from taking to long to do tasks or procrastinating from fears stemming from that feeling of not being good enough and getting found out! Similar, is some ways to Imposter Syndrome but with differences.

When we set ourselves impossibly high standards we take the risk of never being happy with anything we have done. And if we get praise, we will brush it off, thinking we could have done better. We may have trouble accepting compliments and bat them back at the person giving them. I think of a compliment as a gift. A gift from someone who has noticed something lovely about you. You wouldn't throw a physical gift back at someone would you? Then people stop giving compliments and then you think, hmmm, no one ever gives me compliments, that proves I am not good enough.

I can help you break out of this vicious cycle.

What it boils down to in daily life is setting unachievably high goals for the things that we do. Because those goals are unachievable the person is left with a sense of failure in almost everything they do. There are often rigid rules the person sets for themself that stifles flexible thinking and creativity. There then tends to be further striving that results in all kinds of unhelpful behaviours. It is hard to enjoy life if you all you feel is a constant sense of failure.

how I can help: There is ALWAYS a reason for perfectionism. There is ALWAYS a reason why you feel you cannot do things any other way. I want to help you understand these reasons as you can then make a more balanced decision about whether you want to change them. Show what life would look like if you changed, what you could achieve & how much more you might enjoy your life. Think about what you really want, rigid rules or a meaningful & more fulfilled life.

Confidence/self-esteem

Another huge topic area! We all know when we are not feeling confident & when our self-esteem has taken a beating.

This whole website is about self-esteem. And if you refer to the home page you will find out about my view of the differences between confidence and self-esteem. You will also some of the 'symptoms' of low self esteem.

If you low self-esteem is really getting in your way, I can help you with understanding why and how to move forward from that.

What we often find difficult is getting it back on track or we may have always had difficulty with it. Low self-esteem manifests itself in so many ways. Constantly comparing ourselves to other & finding ourselves lacking, fearful of trying new things, feeling threatened by loads of different things, not being able to pursue what we want to, fear of failure, fear that people don't like us, feeling isolated and alone and scared, to name but a few.

how I can help: There are so many ways in which I can help you with this. Developing self-awareness, making your brain your best friend not your worst critic, building new more helpful habits whilst building on existing strengths to move forwards confidently. Please do book a free call with me, so we can discuss your particular situation we can see how I might be able to help.

g5a3b1fa1e8d3dae1c084865d0ad6a6fc693cfcb96b4d8a2bc95fe2c99e4ed69d27f620818411250e180a64ddcba21851bf5f646c90c4534c7a6859b093a302c9_1280-6800977.jpg

Giving back

For some women, they reach a stage in their lives when they want to give something back.

Sometimes it can be hard to identify what you want to do, to achieve that.

By working in a values based way we can discover what and how you would like to that.

g880bbf121da93200128833b48c706d14baa37cf84d819c75a41e5990ebfdf995ec8ea572a19113a1c8fbe6857f01bed7baa19d04b6bbffa9393417805dfc058e_1280-1712590.jpg

Living authentically

Do you find that you tend to do what everyone else says you should? Or maybe you do what you THINK everyone wants you to do. But you rarely do what you want to do?

Low self esteem can get in the way of us saying no to people, standing up for ourselves and/or setting boundaries.

This can be a very unfulfilling way to live life indeed.

I can work with you to find out why you find this difficult. We can identify what is important to you, and to strike a balance with meeting other peoples needs versus meeting your own needs.

Saying no is stressful, but you can learn to do it without feeling overly anxious. By saying yes, it is often an avoidance strategy. To avoid feeling anxious, but in fact, it makes us feel more angry and anxious and bad about ourselves. We can also look at how you can learn to communicate getting your needs met, if that is something you feel difficult.

We tend to feel happier & more fulfilled when our life aligns with our values. When we live a life according to what is important to us. It improves our sense of self-worth, along with an enhanced sense of meaning in our lives.

how I can help: I can help you explore this fascinating part of yourself. We can identify your values. We can then see what changes you can make in your life & how you can move toward them. Generally we can't create a 'perfect' life as we all have things we have to do, but we could fill it, as much as is possible with meaning & fulfilment. It improves our physical & mental health to be spending time doing things we love. The sense of meaning to our life can explode & feel amazing. Truly life changing. Why wouldn't you?

Worrying

Worrying is a natural human thing to do! Everybody does it. But some people do it to an extent that gets in their way and can take over their lives. It can prevent them doing things they want to and avoiding all kinds of stuff.

Worrying is a strategy that often gets confused with problem solving or stopping bad things happening. Some people feel if they worry about everything they then have a contingency plan for every scenario.

However, worrying about something that has not yet happened is not going to change the outcome. Another part to this is you 'suffer' more by agonising over things that have not yet happened and may never happen. Mark Twain said "worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe".

I can help you look at why you worry, what ties you into it and then how to get out of this horrible thought process and move into more helping coping strategies, for example, actual problem solving things that are going on. We can capitalise on your strengths to help you believe that whatever life throws at you, you can cope and/or find help. The latter being ok and not being anxiety provoking!

When we are in situations where we know we are going to lose someone or something, feeling fearful and thinking about what we are going to do is a natural. However, worrying can get out of control and stop us doing things. We can get into massive avoidance & procrastination. It is also exhausting & makes the world feel a scary place. Sometimes people worry about worrying or worry if they don't have something to worry about!

The good news is I can help you to stop worrying. There will be reasons you use worrying to manage your world. There will be reasons why you keep doing it. We can find out what those reasons are & break those cycles. Imagine what you could do with the freedom that not worrying would give you.

I wanted to share some of the ways I work that other clients have found really helpful, your coaching package will be uniquely curated for you and so may or may not contain some of the elements listed below

Self-awareness

Do you find you keep asking yourself, why don't I just do xyz? Why can't I? Why, why, why? We get stuck in this loop of why all the time.

We are curious creatures, human beings. We want to understand. And it is important.

I use a pretty simple formula to give you these answers. So, then you have your answers, you can leave all that why, why, why behind and start moving forwards. This in itself, can be a life changing experience, my client often use the word "profound" change.

It is very empowering to understand why you do what you do and where it comes from.

Confidence

There are so many things that erode our confidence. We may have always been a worrier, change scares us, anxiety in many different forms can paralyse us. Self limiting beliefs, known in psychology as core beliefs can really get in our way. Fears about not being good enough (a key core belief many of us have), feeling we have to do everything perfectly, being self critical, using worrying to try to problem solve, people pleasing, to mention just a few are really unhelpful.

We are trying to cope, cope with the difficult things life throws at us. Some of these ways are helpful and we can build on those. The unhelpful habits we have developed can cause unintential consquences that chip away at our confidence, creating doubt and uncertainty about ourselves.

The good news is, this is fixable! Let's open the bonnet, get the spanners out and fix it together. By now you already know why!

Creating change

We are now at the stage of creating transformational change. We are going to build on the strengths you already have (yes you do!) and add in whatever else you need for your perfect cocktail. Some things my clients have found helpful is learning how to manage worrying - or rather stop! Hone their problem solving and decision making ability, develop boundary setting skills, developing focus, identify what is important to them (values) to live a values based life and how to set achievable goals.

What you can expect from me.

All the things you learn with me, you will be able to use for the rest of your life, across all situations you come across. We will both be working hard!

My coaching philosophy is rooted in EMPATHY, SUPPORT, ENCOURAGEMENT, EMPOWERMENT & PRACTICAL STRATEGIES. I will be honest and straight forward with you. My ultimate aim is to make you your own coach so you can manage your mind, moving forwards.

I believe in coaching using a holistic approach that considers all aspects of your life, helping you to create sustainable change & lasting resilience. I am not afraid to have the tough conversations but always with kindness. I will always be honest, what is the point of anything else?

Whether you're seeking career advancement, to stop worrying, personal growth, or a balanced life or maybe something else, I'm here to guide you every step of the way and I will always be in your corner, cheering you on.

This is not necessarily a linear process, in that we will go from one stage described above to another. You are a unique individual and you will receive a unique, curated coaching package for you alone. I don't believe in generic coaching packages that are so rigid you will just give up as you feel it does not all apply to you. I am here to set you up to succeed and I am in your corner, all the way, and everything we do will apply to you.

Use the button below to book a free, non-obligation with no hard sell, initial consultation to find out if we are a good fit and I can answer any questions you may have. You will receive a form to help you to think about the best way to use that call, please have that to hand.

Click here, to get in touch to chat thru your questions

WHAT CLIENTS SAY?

"We would like to thank you again for your support and expertise.
It has helped massively and we now have a whole range of techniques to draw upon if and when things become challenging in the future. We are very proud of what we have achieved in building confidence and resilience and self esteem - the world is a happier place..."

"I found it extremely helpful that when I was finding things difficult you encouraged me to continue trying.
I think that if I had not had this encouragement then I would not have reached the stage I am at now.
You also encouraged me to have an open mind and try all of the methods available, this enabled me to find a method that worked for me"

"I have found the sessions with Jane have had such a positive impact on my life. Jane has helped me work through some difficult feelings and emotions that were causing me issues daily. Jane has helped me implement tools and techniques that are enabling me to feel less anxious, and our sessions have given me the confidence to navigate larger experiences that I have avoided in the past. Our sessions were relaxed and no judgemental, I felt confident sharing with Jane, she is excellent at her job, and I can’t recommend her enough. Thank you so much for helping me feel happier and more confident. "